SRSLY POED: Blogger Bullshit

There is this growing trend where young hipsters with Etsy stores to set up blogs and talk about what makes them unique, even though they are all carbon copies of each other and they have nothing real to talk about. They are often tattooed and have some form of snub nosed dog, like a pug. It helps if their boyfriends are into vintage cameras and grow mustaches for Movember. I love to hate these blogs, mostly out of insane jealousy because they make money blogging, selling their dumb "brand" (aka loving themselves) but also because they are so fucking stupid and irritating that I can't understand why people follow them in the first place.

They probably hate blogs like mine, because here we don't sit around and drink $40 cups of tea while we talk about just how insanely cute our newly thrifted vintage owl is. To be accepted by them, we have to be "different" which, as far as I can tell, means making up fucked up outfits and taking photos of ourselves wearing them while looking thoughtful in the woods. Although, I should point out, that trend sometimes backfires and you just end up looking like you are taking a shit behind the woodshed:

So the other day, a friend says "Have you seen the ugly headband that Elsie wears"? And I say "no", so we head over to A Beautiful Mess to behold this:

OUCH. Turns out, she actually wears that, it isn't a joke! I guess when she picked out her blog name she got one part right, and it isn't "beautiful". Martha Stewart wouldn't even accept that as a table center piece, let alone think it was a good idea to put it on your head. This normally wouldn't bother me, except this girl actually has a huge blog following and people LOVE to see what she's wearing! OMG.

But then, as we're laughing our way through the blog, we find a post about what Elsie has in her purse. Check this out:

So, we have a magazine, bangles, nail polish, iphone, owl (of course) shaped change purse and a passport AND fake glasses! Do you honestly expect me to believe this shit? That this is what is in your purse? Bullshit! No one carries around their turquoise bangle stash. And passport???? She says that she lost her I.D. and she's carrying this in the meantime. I think that she actually means that she was trying to stage this so that she looks worldly and deep. As deep as fake glasses can make you look.

I found this one on another blog, The Dainty Squid. She's posted what is in her camera bag.

YES! Now THAT I believe. Regular ol' Chap Stick (not Burt's Bees), normal gum and ziplock bags! At least I buy that this is what is REALLY in her camera bag. And she's taken it on regular carpet, not passport enhancing rustic floor boards. Thank you, The Dainty Squid, for being a real person in a sea of fake bloggers. Thanks for just posting, rather than constantly trying to shove a fake brand down our throats.